One word....Struggling

That pretty much sums up my day today. I don't really know why, when, or why it started.

Well, ok I do. This morning I had two crying sessions on the way to work. It's only fair that I preface this by saying that PMS is rearing its ugly little head, so I imagine its playing a teeny-tiny roll in my roller coaster of emotions. Either way...back to my two crying sessions.

First of all, I woke up in a cranky mood this morning. Did NOT want to go to work, or face this day period. However, I do my thing, get Pres ready, and jump in the car to drive. For some crazy reason, I decided to pop in a Kenney Chesney cd this morning. I NEVER listen to country music. I like it and all...well some....but I just don't care to sit and listen to it. EVER. Well I put in his CD this morning and I seriously haven't listened to it in ages.

The first song...."There Goes My Life." Know that one? Its from a guys perspective and he finds out he's going to be a daddy. He thinks his life and dreams are basically over now that he's going to have a child, but then he falls in love with his little girl and its all over from there! Of course, this hits home with me just thinking about Presley and all. Here were the tear-jerker moments...

" A couple years of up all night and a few thousand diapers later

That mistake he thought he made covers up the refrigerator

Oh yeah...he loves that little girl.

Momma's waiting to tuck her in,

As she stumbles up those stairs.

She smiles back at him dragging that teddy bear.
Sleep tight, blue eyes and bouncin' curls.

Chorus:
There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

I love you, daddy good-night.

There goes my Life.

She had that Honda loaded down.

With Abercrombie clothes and 15 pairs of shoes.. and his American Express.

He checked the oil and slammed the hood, said your good to go.

She hugged them both...and headed off, to the West Coast.

Chorus:
And he cried,

There goes my life.

There goes my future, my everything.

I love you.

Baby good-bye.

Good Lord it makes me cry just reading it! If y'all think this is bad...you should've seen me the other day. Presley's glo-worm plays "Cannon in D" and I was thinking about how much I loved that song. THEN I started thinking about how one day she might be walking down the aisle to the same song, and I LOST IT!

Anyway, if that wasn't enough, I skip over to another song...."Woman with You." You might wonder why I would get so teary-eyed on this song, but I guess it just showed me how busy I am, and how overwhelmed I get. But at the end of the day, I have Clinton and I have Presley. And thats all that matters....

She hit the door 6:55, sack full of groceries split down the side.

Can goods scattered all the way to the curb.

Look on her face saying don't say a word.

So, its me and her and a can of beans sitting there on the front porch swing.

Western Sky all turning red.

Head on my shoulder, she signed and said:

Been gopherin', chauffeurin;, company chairman,

Coffee maker, copy repairman.

Anymore there aint nothing I swear man, that I dont do.

Been juggling, struggling, closing big deals.

Dancing backwards in high heels.

Just when it feels like I can't make it through.

She said It sure is nice to just be the woman with you.

Thats now the whole song, but you get the gist. Anyway, both songs led me to have a nice "let-it-all-out-and-cry-a-little-bit" morning. I needed it.

Unfortunately, the rest of my day hasn't gone any smoother. Ive been in meetings all morning...good and bad ones...conference calls...you name it. Then I have my weekly manager meeting this afternoon which will last till I go home. Therefore, nothing will be accomplished like I need it to be. Oh well. Its Thursday, have no where to be but home, and Gray's finale comes on tonight.